Etiquette 101 - Every Country has its subtle taboos

Every Country has its subtle taboos and unspoken codes, but when you get down to it, it's what you say, not how you say it, that really gets you in the door. (or kicked out of the door). Any Japanese businessman will let it go if you fail to receive a business card with both hands, but bringing up uncomfortable subjects (gender relations) will lead to awkward silences and maybe even a fatal lack of trust. It's easy enough to follow such tips as "Use common sense on your home turf, but its sometimes the best intentioned questions that can land you in the most trouble abroad". In all likelihood, these and other questions will not get you banned from the family table or the conference table. But wandering into a minefield might lead to kind of awkwardness that festers beneath all the cross-cultural politeness.

Many people, especially young people today, see polite behavior as fake?

Many young people today see polite behavior as being fake?

●Today it is especially important to be considerate and respectful, honest and kind to all.
● If we are kind to all around us - than our actions will not be seen as fake.
● With today's economy, we cannot afford to not be authentic, positions are hard to come by.
● We all want to get ahead in our professional life and our personal life, good manners are always in style.
● Pay attention when you meet new people and remember that first impressions are very important.

The term "high tea" is often misused

The term "high tea" is often misused by those who like to gild afternoon tea to make it seem exclusive and refined.
Consequently, both consumers and dispensers of tea often mistakenly tack the word "high" onto what should be simply called tea or afternoon tea.

Although often confused with afternoon tea, high tea is not a dainty affair, neither is it synonymous with highbrow. The distinction is important if you wish to convey a certain degree of sophistication. High tea is NOT finger sandwiches, scones and sweets. That, of course is tea or afternoon tea.

High tea is a hearty, simple and sit down meal that originated during the Industrial Revolution of the 19th century. High tea was the main meal of the day for workers who returned home very hungry after a long, hard day in the fields.

Everything is placed on the table, family style, and dishes are passed from person to person. The menu offers hot or cold hearty and traditional foods such as meat pies, steak and kidney pies, sausage, cold meats, breads, cheese, desserts, fruits and tea.

Here are some helpful hints to remember when handshaking

Helpful tips to remember when handshaking

✺ Always be ready to initiate or receive a handshake

✺ Don't carry anything in your right hand. It should be free for handshaking.

✺ Hold your glass in your left hand to avoid a cold, wet handshake.

✺ Extend your hand with the thumb up and out so the other person can get in to connect.

✺ Use fragrance sparingly in the business arena, it can be offensive.

✺ Don't wear rings on the right hand in the business arena. It interferes and can be painful.

✺ Most of all, no one should refuse a handshake, if you must - say "I'd like to shake your hand."

American Mannerisms

Common Courtesy

Listed are common courtesies that are important and should be taught at home to our children:

❁ Introduce people to each other

❁ Cover your mouth when you sneeze or yawn

❁ Do not chew food with your mouth open

❁ Wipe your nose with a tissue or Kleenex, do not swallow your snot

❁ Respond with a proper "yes" or "no" rather than ignoring another person.

❁ Do not blow your nose at the table

❁ Do not comb your hair at the table, regardless if your home or in public view

❁ Do not apply lipstick or any other makeup at the table

❁ Do not cut your fingernails in public with any type of instrument

The Don'ts of Tea Etiquette - Business and Social

✿ Don't place items on the table. This protocol extends to keys, hats, gloves, eyeglasses, eyeglass cases, anything that is not part of the meal.

✿ Don't overload the fork when eating the foods served at tea.

✿ Don't chew with your mouth open.

✿ Don't smack your lips.

✿ Don't touch your face or head during teatime.

✿ Don't tip up the cup too much when drinking tea, but keep it at a slight angle.

✿ Don't extend a pinkie when holding a cup.

✿ Don't reach across the table or across another person to get something.

✿ Don't try to remove food from your teeth in the presence of others. If something gets caught in your teeth, excuse yourself and take care of the problem in the restroom.

✿Don't place your napkin on the table until you are ready to leave.

Leave your real legacy behind you.....

Leaving your real legacy behind you....what an idea.

Write your own memoirs, or get some thoughts down using a tape recorder. Put captions on the photos you have taken, never mind stuffing them in a box some where. With today's technologies it easier to record your past positions, your families celebrations and many wonderful memories to tell about "you".

I get so much entertainment and pleasure when looking at my past snapshots from the years in raising my children. Or the old photos from high school or college years. In other words, leave your mark behind for future generations to come.

Meeting Manners

As an attendee at a meeting, its your job to :

✿ Arrive on time, even a few minutes before.

✿ Introduce yourself to anyone new before the meeting starts.

✿Turn off your cell phone completely.

✿ Bring all the proper materials connected with the subject to the meeting.

✿ Do not interrupt - ever. Wait your turn.

✿ Raise your hand, informally, when you want to say something wait to catch the leader's eye, and wait for a signal to begin.

✿ Do not bring food to the meeting. It is rude to eat to in front of others when the meeting does not call for a meal.

✿Remember to congratulate a coworker who made a fine presentation to the room. A quick four word email will do it: " Nice job today Erich !

the 3 F's: Feel, Felt, Found

Handling Conflict over the Telephone -

Be especially aware of your tone of voice. More than ever, it needs to be pleasant, concerned, patient, informed and caring. Lower voices are perceived to be more mature, confident and in control.

Listen very carefully so you understand exactly what happened. Often the details can tell you just how deeply the Guest has been offended, and they can give you ideas for what action you need to take next.

Empathize with their feelings, regardless of whether or not you agree. You can still relate to the fact that they are feeling hurt, offended, or wronged in some way.

Propose a plan of action. Offer some next steps that may keep the Guest from having the problem in the future, or will at least let the Guest know that the appropriate people will be notified so it doesn't happen again to anyone else. You could offer some kind of compensation, if it is warranted.

The 3 F's: Feel, Felt, Found-
I understand how you could feel that way. Others have felt that way too, and they found, after an explanation, that guideline made sense.

Proper business and social etiquette needs to be practiced in visual, verbal, and written communication. As business becomes more socially-oriented, companies are looking increasingly to those men and women who possess class and style, as well as technical skills.

Proper business etiquette begins with introductions. Effective introductions are staged in three parts:
1. Entrance (good posture)
2. Verbal introduction
3. Handshake (firm)

Who gets introduced to whom is determined by precedence (pecking order).
An easy rule to remember is to always say the more important individuals name first. example - "Mr. Guest , may I introduce Dave Omel, our director." The Guest (or client) is always the more important person. Finally, always rise for an introduction, to show respect.

About gender-based introductions: Men and women should be treated according to the aforementioned protocol. Special treatment according to "gender" is out. In business world there are no genders; we do business with professionals.

Restaurants - Picking a Good One

Peter Meehan, the New York Times "$25 and Under" Food Critic, shares his secrets for finding great authentic local fare.
1. Talk to a local - A local's opinion about which fish shack is best is almost always a sure bet. Try asking a shopkeeper or even your taxi driver.

2. Do your homework - Pick a location the way you might pick a racehorse at the track. Gather up all the information you can find using tip sheets. Tip sheets in the world of food are the guidebooks, magazines, blogs and other online communities where folks share their opinions of meals and restaurants.

3. Give way to the diner's serenity prayer. Accept that you will eat some disappointing food. Ask for courage to leave a restaurant midmeal if it's a lost cause and there's another place nearby and for the wisdom to drink deeply and eat fully on the fine occasions when you do find what you're looking for.

When you're are traveling and taking a plane

Manners for airline travel

- Dress comfortably but nicely. A well dressed American makes an instant favorable impression.

- Check your large pieces of baggage, instead of carrying it on board. If you do carry it with you, be careful not to hit passengers in aisle seats as you walk through the cabin.

- If you are traveling with a baby, change your infant's diapers in the privacy of a lavatory and not in the empty seat next to you !

- When the flight attendant comes by with the drinks cart, have your credit card ready or give him the exact change.

- Help keep the lavatory presentable. Everyone appreciates it when you wipe the sink before you exit the location.

- Leave your litter in a neat pile on your seat when you leave the plane, in consideration for the cleaning crew.
As you disembark, always thank the lined up Flight Attendants. They are rarely thanked and they usually try very hard to please the passengers.

- If the captain or co-captain is standing in the doorway to the cockpit, thank him for a " a good flight".

- Many passengers ignore the pilot and crew - so go out of your way to praise them for their hard work.

Bread and Butter

Your bread or dinner roll should be put on your bread and butter plate which is always to your left, either above your fork or to the left of your forks! You should break your roll with your hands, one or at the most two bite sized pieces at a time.

The butter for your roll should also be put on your bread and butter plate. Only the piece of roll you are going to consume should be buttered at one time. Do not break your roll in half, butter each half and proceed to consume the roll one half at a time

Never, ever insult your Host or Hostess

Never, ever insult your host or hostess either during the party or afterwards when discussing the party with friends !
Remember you were a guest in someone's home and even if things were not perfect, a great deal of time and effort was expended in preparation for the party. You should be grateful that you were included as a guest.

Cell Phone Etiquette

The cell phone is a glorious invention, helping people stay in touch with one another, and relieving the minds of many parents. So love it for what it is, and realize that it annoys more people than it helps, and resolve to yourself that you will always use it politely.

The telephone can be a wonderful human extension of you. It really is out of this world instrument. So if you use the cell phone with care and express personality through its mouthpiece, the other person on the other end of the line will always welcome your calls.

Whether you use it for business, or personal use--- respect for others around you, the user, understand the rights of others in your immediate area. There is nothing worst than the a grocery clerk trying to ring up your order and the customer's cell phone is ringing and the customer ignores the clerk and answers the phone. Or spending the day on Jury Duty and one of the jurors forgets to turn off his cell phone. Be mindful and respect others with your cell phone.